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Offline ZekeySpaceyLizard
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« on: February 21, 2009 05:03 AM »
Hello.


I have kidnapped rtil and locked him in a condemned cantina somewhere on the outskirts of the black rock desert near Mcdermit, Nevada.

Now i'm sure you want your rtil back but if you do you are going to have to do everything i say to guarantee he arrives whole and not in several small giftbaskets full of skin conditioner and bathsoap.
and done worry.
he is fine.
he's got some goat drugs in his system and probably doesnt know where he is. However to calm him down (since in his current state he cannot move or see) i have playing on repeat various mashups of popular Prodigy and Enya songs to sooth his brain as he drifts in and out of conscience.


if he tries to escape I have my system set up to play the best of nickelback and lil wayne.

i'm not fucking around this time, faggots.

this is the shit right here. if you were from where i was from, you'd be fucking dead BONK.


see

i'm taking over this here forum see.

theres far too much untapped potential here and its being squandered by rtil and psi in their neverending weed-fueled boozefests with plump finnish whores. it needed to end. it had to end. its ending today.

i'm the leader now.

the lord.

the master.

the big cheese.

mouse trap its some zaney action a crazy contraption the fun is catchin its MOUSE TRAP


and because of my new rulership I am hereby instating new rules for this alley.
this land has remained lawless for two long with you proletarians growing FAT off the rich bounty that grows underneath your own feet shrieking "FREE US. FREE US FROM OUR LUSTY CONTAINMENT" and they pop free like great bosoms, bludgeoning all who stand in the way to a bloody and well deserved pulp.
the crippled cadavers of this cave of crafted crass community will be diligently dangled daringly above the deadly depression where they will be drubbed with a deft drub on their dimpled dermis.

thats the fat that awaits any cumbaglets and simple simons who question the new authority being instated here.


SO HERES THE NEW RULES I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM I WORKED EXTRA HARD ON THEM MOMMY PLEASE PUT THEM ON THE FRIDGE PLEASE MOMMY MOMMY WHAT ARE YOU DOING OH GOD NOT THE APPLES AGAIN STOP MOMMY PLEASE


no seriously im trying to type fuck off



rule numero uno

1.) i cant make someone fall in love with anyone else MWAH YOU LITTLE PUT'EM THERE

rule number two
2.) i cant kill anybody. so dont ask.


numbah 3

3.)


rule number 4

4.) i cant bring anyone back from the dead. its not a pretty picture.



rule the fifth

5.) i am to be served delicious sweet cream and frosted flakes every morning for breakfast. buffalo wings for lunch. and supreme gorditas for dinner

6.) AND HERE IN THE NIGHT AS I FEEL THE INFERNO I STARE IN THE DARK THINKING WHAT IS ETERNAL THE MAN OR THE MOMENT THE ACT OR THE REASON THESE THOUGHTS FILL MY HEAD AS I CONTEMPLATE TREASON OF DREAMS I HAVE HAD AND DREAMS I HAVE PONDERED WHEN LATE IN THE NIGHT MY MIND IT WOULD WANDER
 TO THINGS I HAVE DONE AND THEN QUICKLY REGRETTED WHILE DENYING VICES MY LIFE HAD SELECTED

7.) everyone will start their day by worshiping Ahoeitu, grandson of Kohai who may have been a primeval earth serpent. The Sky-God Eitumatupua descended from heaven one day and married Ilaheva, an earth-goddess. Until their son Ahoeitu was full grown, he had never seen his father, who lived in heaven. Eitumatupua had begotten other sons in heaven who were jealous when Eitumatupua mentioned his earth-son, so they ambushed Ahoeitu and devoured him. yeah he showed those fuckers a thing or three eh?

8.) i forgot :/

9.) no more briefs or boxers or panties. all parts and small pieces (may cause choking hazard) must be allowed to flop freely in the spring breeze.

10.) spring breeze is basically the gameboy game with better graphics but it has some cool minibosses and the king dedede fight at the end which is always fun.

11.) the new theme song to this forum has been changed. in the past your former master mr.til (locked in nevada dont forget), was using the song Discipline by throbbing gristle to rustle you from your sleep. and while i applaud his choice in music, that doesnt make him any less of a silly nanny, so the new forum theme song is now Hello Skinny.

When you hear this song you WILL stand up from your chair, bed, tub, iron lung, butt and will jig merrily to the song.
Afterwards you will sob giant tears of joy that you are blessed with a ruler who would let you dance at a whim. GIANT TEARS. Like anime tears.

Anyone whose tears are not at least 1 full cup of filthy body water will be shot right through their fucking god damn useless skulls with a sniper rifle, and then defecated upon.
I really cant make that any more clear.

12.) sex is outlawed


13.) actually thats a terrible rule. ignore 12. 12 is now outlawed. the numerical scale goes from 1-10, 11, 13 from now on. anyone caught using 12, sniped, defecated, etc.

rule
number
four
teen

14.) avete sprecato appena il tempo che traduce questo

15.) everyone must peel the skin off their feet every morning. if there is no skin, peel off the scabs. if there are no scabs, sniped, defecated, etc.


16.) psi is dead. dead. dead. dead. dead as disco. but do not fret. my crack team of nanomachinologists are using their vast knowledge of thermo nucleaic acids and dilithium crystals to construct a new army of smaller weaker psi's.
the new psi's will be called subpsi's.
the subpsi's will do everything the old psi's did except the subs will use 40% less gas, and also will not talk back unlike the real psi who as i mentioned is dead. dead. dead. dead. dead as disco. but do not fret. my crack team of nanomachinologists are using their vast knowledge of thermo nucleaic acids and dilithium crystals to construct a new army of smaller weaker psi's.
the new psi's will be called subpsi's.
the subpsi's will do everything the old psi's did except the subs will use 40% less gas, and also will not talk back unlike the real psi who as i mentioned is dead.

dead.

dead.


dead.

BUT

DO NOT FRET


rule 18) rule 17 is dead as psi is.

19.) i have run out of rules


food is now rationed. every morning for breakfast you will get a slice of poundcake with white or chocolate icing. sprinkles optional.

dinner will be served every day at 8 pm. it will be a hearty soup made of all the people who expired the previous day. this will save room needed for gravestones. all previous cemeteries will be launched into the sun. any dead bodies that are not launched, sniped, defecated, etc.


uhhh



man



i think that covers it.


so yeah. you just like think about that. for a while. i'll see you after class.

Offline Wasim
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« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2009 05:28 AM »
Moughalab zegt: Wanna keep a secret from niggas, write it down in a book they'll never read it.

Offline mishkamash
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« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2009 07:24 AM »
oh thanks for reminding me of alladin yknow that wonderful cartoon i couldnt finish because my US history teacher is a complete dyke godfuckingdamnit
<lenko> i saw a hedgehog on the way home if i was drunk i would have yelled IM DOCTOR RRRRROBOTNIK and chased it 

Offline rtil
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« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2009 11:56 AM »
so i dunno who this rtil fella was but some dude name nathan is letting me live in here for free and said i could have all the hot dogs i could eat

Offline zomfgbie
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« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2009 01:35 PM »
i am dead

<+wwchicken> once i walked into the kitchen and there was a sound
<+wwchicken> but i could only hear it when i stood on one spot in the kitchen
<+wwchicken> then i turned off the light
<+wwchicken> and it was gone
<+wwchicken> then i turned the light back on and there it was again
<+wwchicken> so i thought, its an invisible alien
<+wwchicken> but hes scared of the dark

Offline jjjjjjjjjj
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« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2009 01:30 AM »

Offline DrRumack
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« Reply #6 on: March 8, 2009 01:52 AM »
lmao

<Naza> i hate penis exect mine
<Tyler Naugle> JOKE  TIME w/ JOKEOB BRECK
<+pantsman> you have yet to show me any applicable sign of intelligence yet scrib...
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Quote from: stealth troll
what's up with you not sucking dicks like the faggot you are
<+fluffkomix> mrscriblam has added you as a friend
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<+mrscriblam> lmao