Being a boy is tough, right? Wrong.
I found that out the hard way, and if you'll let me tell you how I found that out, I'll tell you how. I was a typical little girl; cute girl, blonde hair, and a multitude of close friends. I did really well at school (much to my older brother's annoyance) and then one day I became a boy. I woke up, like any other day, except on other days I didn't wake up with a penis for the first time in my life. I could not believe it. Not at all. I looked in the mirror and saw my body and shouted.
I laughed for a long time at how much that phrase sounded like 'happiness', and that was more than a coincidence. Being a boy was akin to pure happiness. No responsibility, no vaginal issues, no fighting with girls and the chance to walk with real swagger. I revelled in every moment of my other-wordly experience, biting my lip at every turn.
This was just the beginning.
My metamorphosis was astounding, quite simply. I thought, like any sane person, that such things were impossible - outwith the realms of idle daydreaming (to which I was prone). The physical change was the most bracing. I gave myself a look in the mirror, and then kissed it;
"Oops, that's not a cute boy, it's me!"
Now fully dressed in a handsome Armani suit, Clolin (me, in boy form) set out to school.
I ran to the school bus, and was massively shocked at how fast I could run;
"I guess these long legs are good for something, huh?" I enquired to nobody in particular as I looked at the camera, and winked.
I made it to the bus on time and hopped on, sweating. I noticed my friends, three lovely girls, and began to walk toward them, but I got a 'boner' instead. Then I remembered that I was a boy, with a penis and no friends! I tumbled into a chair, giving the cool busdriver a dude's thumbs-up as I sat - as a girl, I had waved.
School was lame, even as a boy.
I high-5'd many of my awesome bro's, and winked at loads of great girls, altogether a great day.
I decided that Europe was the place to use my new penis for good, and by good I mean 'glory'.
I bought ten tickets to France, then sold nine of them for a profit - boys sure have the business acumen.
Versailles, here I come.
I got an erection on the plane, thus joining the infamous 'mile high club' - another box my female friends could never tick. I became, in that moment, fully aware of how lucky I was and smiled - happening to look toward a woman near me at the same time.
Between my sizeable erection and less-than-subtle grin, she was doubtlessly assured of my intentions. We moved toward the toilet, me on my Segway and her following behind, her broad hips swaying.
"The toilet's not for sex..." whispered a sexy flight attendent. I winked and both of the women giggled, being a boy was the best.
The three of us squeezed into the tight confines of the airplane toilet, my penis wrapped in trouser like a snake in a sheath. The air hostess pulled my trousers down to reveal the shocking proportions of my stick, gasping in a manner which was distinctly French.
The woman with the wide hips kissed me on the mouth, sensually.
"I'm not a lesbian!" I shouted loudly, temporarily forgetting about my unexpected sex change.
She gave me an odd look and kissed my penis,
"Boys sure are strange!" the two girls said in unison.
I was in hog heaven, getting my dick sucked.
The pleasure intensified as the pilot called me an 'excellent dude' over the tanoy system. I wasn't a dude, I was a girl who had turned into a man.
As I inserted my zipper (as my mother always called them) into one of the four girls doing me - yes, others had joined in - I began to think about French history, forming the kind of educated historiographical theories that were only available for male comprehension. I digested facts and figures, arriving at meaningful conclusions and would probably have been the first human to ever solve Pythagoras' theorem if one of the girls hadn't loudly announced me to be "The owner of two parents who must be very proud."
As I parachuted onto the ornate gardens of Versailles, I came to realise the inert superiority of man over woman. Becoming a boy was the best decision I ever made. Clolin was here to stay.
I managed to shake the last of my lovers off my dick and then opened my parachute. The canopy exploded with colour, revealing a beautiful rainbow.
"What?! A rainbow? Think of the connotations!" I angrily shouted to, and against, the wind.
Furious with vaguely-homophobic rage, I managed to shoot every shred of material on the parachute, successfully putting an end to any questions of my sexuality.
I had a new problem, now, albeit a lesser one.
"I've got no 'chute..." I mumbled, putting my gun back in its holster.
I was almost certain that even boys weren't impervious to massive drops from huge distances. I was wrong.
I landed without a sound and felt nothing, in a field full of scarecrows.
"You might have scared the crows, but you haven't shocked me in the slightest." I winked to them, putting my dick away.