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GhostingFish Lit

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Offline GhostingFish
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« on: August 1, 2011 11:32 PM »
Yes i know that i already have a topic for my works but i figured that writing is a little different then the things that i draw ect.. and writings will flood the topic a bit too. I still have to type up a lot of my works so i may not post much at first.. I'll most likely post pdf's of the longer stuff..

This one is a little strange but it is based off of a story i'm writing.


"Mass murder of a fallen man"

Nothing was left to be shown
as we stand here alone
in the glistening rain
watching that gray tombstone.

The rain that drips and runs
from our hats, long-coats and guns
we stand here to remember
as his grand and grateful sons.

"here lies a fallen man" engraved
From his actions he could never be saved.
From the actions of Heresy!
is to which his grave is to laid.

only knowing the wrong from right
He has fought a deeper, inner fight.
for THAT he was strung from the neck!
to soon he may see the brighter light.

All was glisten on that cold, bitter day.
As the family and love-ones stood there to pray
for at a time he was "a fallen man"
For his children, a new light gave way

Even to the one that he did not know
His 'will' was left to him bestowed
on a "mystery-man"
by an odd chance that he'd show
The family's hate did soon grow.

All his wealth and power
he changed at his final hour.

Knowing his family's deception
This was his only way for redemption.

For this there arms were drawn!
The love and sadness was soon gone.

As the hate has drawn there fire
The "fallen man's" actions were inspired

All was glisten on that cold, rainy day
As the rain casts the blood and tears away..


Offline W.A.S.I.M.
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« Reply #1 on: August 3, 2011 11:31 AM »
you started off nice with a tight opener and some vivid image,
overall you painted a picture well but who the fuck brings guns to a funeral (lmao)